January Tumblr Inspiration

Guys. I love tumblr.
Every time I get on I find something that just makes me feel something, which is huge for me.
Obviously, feeling is the center of human-ness, it's what makes us people and relates us and I could rant for three weeks but that's what I love so much about our world is the relativity of everything and just that each of us simply is human.
Cutting my rant short, I'm doing one of these every month.
Everything is from tumblr.

Lately.

Not too much has gone on since I last posted, which I need to get better at, by the way. Colton and I celebrated our little one year anniversary on December 29 which was nice. 

I'm living back in Provo which I'm both happy and sad about. I'm glad I'm here with Colton before he leaves but I just feel kind of like a failure. Disappointed in myself, I suppose.

Let me explain.

I'm working for Dad for a while, but I'm not currently doing school. I may start some online classes and things but my problem is simply that I have no idea what I'm doing. I tend to hold myself to absurdly high standards so what I'm doing now doesn't feel like enough for me.

I have things I want to do, very specific goals for my life and the direction I want to take it in. But nobody but Colton really seems to understand or support them. So I'm really just at a loss.

I'll admit going to school for Fashion Merchandising or Visual Communications and going to work in Philadelphia at Free People's home office isn't exactly a super practical goal. I realize that it's pretty far fetched and probably more specific than is realistic, but it's what I would love, more than anything, to do. 

Fashion makes me happy.

Free People makes me happy. Because I feel like I'm allowed to be myself there.

So at what point do you just say "screw practicality" and go for what you love?

I guess that's where I'm at right now.

And it just frustrates the hell out of me.

But nobody will just listen. Maybe THAT'S what frustrates me most.

Kennewick.

This cute boy finally, after 20 weeks, got his mission call yesterday.

He's going to Kennewick, Washington on February 27 and preaching the gospel in Spanish. 

I'll admit that yesterday was a really hard day for me. We've been together for almost a year and the thought of being without him was absolutely heartbreaking but we talked and he (after many patient hours) convinced me that everything will be okay. We can still write and it really is the best thing for him and us. And maybe even me, a little bit.

I just thoroughly adore him. Kennewick is the luckiest city.

My Boy, My City

I was home in Provo for Thanksgiving and can I just say, I can't imagine a more perfect place in the world for me. It's absolutely wonderful. I'm so deeply in love with it. My boyfriend, Colton, and I went on a photo adventure around Historic Downtown Provo and it just reminded me why I'm going back.

These are all on Center Street and University Avenue. Provo is the perfect little place.

But, THIS. This is my very favorite part of the whole city. Velour Live Music Gallery. Some of the most incredible music I've ever had the privilege to hear has come out of Provo and, more specifically, Velour. It's where I feel so at home. Everything is right when you're inside this small, magical part of the world.

Speaking of Velour and local music in general, one of my very favorite artists (believe me, the absolute definition of artist) and former neighbors is playing two album release shows this coming week. I'm heartbroken that I can't go. Watching Joshua James play a live show is something you'll never forget. He just dives right into your heart and soul and it's really an experience that will change you. Absolutely brilliant.

I know this post has been so long and drawn out but I just have one more thing for you. Just one more.  

This boy right here is the most important thing in my life. 

We've been together for nearly a year, almost four months of that has been spent 125 miles apart. He takes lots of pictures for me and dyes my hair and has the wonkiest knees I've ever seen and refuses to take a serious picture. But that's why I love him.

There's a good chance he'll be spending the next two years away from me in some fancy foreign country and I'll be here, or wherever I am, doing whatever I'm doing, figuring my life out. I'm so happy for him and I can't wait to see where life takes each of us, separately and together in the future.

Anyways, here are just a few pictures from our Provo photo adventure. He took the majority of these, because he's smart and talented and snazzy and I absolutely adore him.

I live in such a lovely place.

Everything is so different. I realize I haven't posted in about a year and that's a long time for things to happen, but it feels like such a short time.

Provo will always be my home, but I live in such a beautiful place right now. 

Logan, UT is truly lovely. I'm going to Utah State University and I love it. Campus is absolutely beautiful and we essentially live up in the mountains and it's just such a nice thing to wake up to every day.

This is campus. Isn't it awesome?

I think this is my favorite building in the whole place.

It's called Old Main and it's so darling.

My little desk and shelf above my bed.

Walk through the cemetery on my way home from 6:30 AM yoga.

Football games are the best here. GO AGGIES.

The view into the canyon on the drive back to Provo.

The view out my window on a rainy day.

I didn't even notice these until a couple weeks ago! So pretty.

We live on the fourth floor so we do get to walk up a lot of stairs multiple times a day, but it also means we get a killer view.

I've lived here almost four months and I love it so much. The fact that I have to leave breaks my heart. Next semester I'm going back to Provo for a while to kinda figure things out. I love Utah State, but there's not really anything here for me. So I'm gonna think through my options and figure out what I want to do. I can't wait to get back to Provo, but leaving Logan is just about the saddest thing in the world.